Screen-Monkey has played every edition of Dungeons and Dragons.

He primarily acts as a Dungeon Master and usually hosts a large open table once per month.  With player counts reaching as high as 10-12, he has developed tools and tricks for handling large groups and big fights.

Back in the early 1980s he rolled up the stats for his first character and was cursed with a high Dexterity score.  He has been partial to playing thieves ever since.


He lives on a diet of grilled flumph which is best cooked with a marinade like this one:

Auntie Thim’s Flumph Marinade

  • 4 & 1/2 pounds lean flumph sliced thin
  • 3/4 cup soy sauce
  • 1/3 cup sugar
  • 1/3 cup sesame oil
  • 2 tablespoon sesame seeds
  • 1 small onion, thinly sliced
  • 3 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 teaspoon salt


  1. Cut flumph meat into thin slices (about 1/4 inch thick).
  2. In a bowl, stir together sesame seeds, soy sauce, sugar, oil, onion, and garlic.
  3. Combine meat with soy mixture
  4. Cover and keep cool for at least 2 hours and overnight is preferable.
  5. To cook, place meat on a lightly greased grill, cook, turning once, just until brown on both sides (2-3 minutes total).

I usually double the marinade and the more thinly sliced the flumph is, the better it will marinade.

Slice the Flumph into very thin strips of meat using an axe or other sharp object.

If you are grilling outdoors, you can wrap the grill with metal foil to lay the meat on so it doesn’t fall through.

If haven’t leveled enough to take down a flumph, consider using lean sliced beef, pork, or chicken.  It won’t be as awesome, but it will probably be okay.

Comments are closed.